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Re-engaging with Friends

The Coaching Team

Our Coaching team take a look at the questions we might find helpful as we re-engage with society in different ways after lockdown. In this article, we look at how to re-emerge well in our friendships.

Friends are important to God.  

Enoch and Noah walked with God.  Jesus stayed with his good friends Martha, Mary and Lazarus on his way to Jerusalem and was blessed by them. The Holy Spirit is our counsellor and comforter, a friend even.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a friend as a person with whom we have a bond of mutual affection.  Other definitions include words like trust, support, respect, loyalty, personal regard.

For over a year now we haven’t been able to spend much time face to face with our friends, the really special people.  But freedom is coming, lockdown is easing and restrictions are lifting.

What will we talk about when we finally do see them?  Will we just chatter and laugh, or will we be tongue-tied and hesitant, unable to think of anything meaningful to say?

Here are some ideas of questions you could discuss with your friends to help you together, to recapture and increase your understanding, intimacy and care as friends.

Question Ideas

  • What did you miss about our friendship when we weren’t able to meet?
  • How did you feel when things happened that we would normally have shared and couldn’t?
  • How do you think our friendship may have been affected by not meeting face to face?
  • What sort of things would you like to do together to make more special memories for us?  What shall we do?   When / where will we do it?
  • Is there anything we used to do that wasn’t helpful that maybe we should change or stop doing?
  • What are the things about our friendship that you thank God for?

When you are having this conversation don’t stop with the first answer, wait and ask ‘and what else’ or ‘tell me more’.  These kinds of conversation questions and careful listening will help take friendships deeper.  

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